Do NOT trust "victims" just because they "look like victims"!
Beware!
Many times, the people that pose as “victims” are in fact the aggressors in disguise.
NEVER believe someone just because he or she is very convincing, cries and “appears” to be telling the truth.
People with ASPD (Antisocial Personality Disorder), often known as “psychopaths” [Ref] are characterized by a long-term pattern of manipulating and exploiting others and committing crimes. People with this condition lack empathy and remorse, and are compulsive liars. They are usually extremely charming and can trick everyone into believing their lies.
Although they are in fact violent predators, they often present themselves as “victims” to the real victim’s friends, family members and Court.
If you believe them, most likely the real victim will be abandoned by his/her friends and family, making his/condition much, much worse – sometimes even leading to suicide. Don’t be a jerk!
What should YOU do?
- Words are just words. Everybody can lie. Trust your EYES, not your ears
- Ignore “earsay”
- ALWAYS “listen” to both sides
- t is NOT TRUE that when two people disagree, the truth is always somewhere in the middle. For example, if one person says “2+2=4” and another says “2+2=6” the truth is not in the middle (2+2=5). The first one is saying the truth, the second one is lying.
- Always check for proofs of the facts. Ask for random documents. For example, when the so called “victim” is not expecting and cannot refuse, ask to see a few emails or some Whatsapp messages chosen by you. Real victims are almost always willing to talk and show (they need to). Too much talk and too little evidence is a red flag. Also, beware of out-of-context “evidence”, such an isolated email or message.
- If one of the parts is your childhood friend that you’ve known forever – most likely he/she is the innocent one; don’t betray him/her.
- Never go to court (much less lie) “to help someone”. You may be “helping” the wrong person.
“Normal” people will often believe psychopaths’ lies, because they, as “normal” human beings, are incapable of imagining something that “looks human” yet is deprived of any feeling of empathy, compassion, or remorse while coldly inflicting harm upon other living creatures, including children and animals, if it benefits them.
Approximately 1% of the general population is estimated to have psychopathy, while sociopathy is estimated to affect around 4%. These numbers fluctuate depending on the study, with some researchers suggesting broader categories of "almost psychopaths" could make up as much as 5% - 12% of the population. So, you do know a few of them. But do you know who they are?
Real victims need no compassion.
Real victims need indifference even less.
Real victims need information, help in daily tasks and a good Lawyer!
All the people that contribute to this Website and organization are (or have been) victims of domestic violence.
Most of us are highly educated, had a successful career and yet have faced social exclusion, prejudice from judges, co-workers and friends, depression, and financial distress.
Lawyers are very expensive, and most often than not are ill-prepared for the multi-disciplinary approach that these processes require (family law, crime law and civil law).
If you are a true friend, be prepared to do something. Help with shopping, cooking or babysitting. Call your friend at least weekly and invite him/her for a cup of coffee (and pick him/her, for it is very hard for suffering people to leave home alone).
You have the choice not to do it, but accept the fact that you are a jerk and live with that.
Real Case
In , 2026, John had his 8 year-old son kidnapped by his mother, a suspect psychopath. Both John and his son had suffered from physical and emotional abuse for several years. John had also lost his job, was in deep depression and in financial distress.
John had recently found out that the mother of his child had been approaching several of his friends and accusing John of being a pedophile, a rapist, a drug addict and a violent father and husband. As a result, some, then most, and finally ALL BUT ONE of his closest friends stopped talking to him.
John lived alone and had no other relatives other than his son. In despair, he posted a message in one of his social network groups: “I need help. All I ask is that someone invites me for a cup of coffee”
He got zero replies.
[This is a real story and is still ongoing. John did not recover his kid yet, and the court [2 female judges and 1 female prosecutor] is still refusing to allow the mother to be tested for mental illness, despite ordering the father to be immediately tested. The names, dates and ages have been altered to protect the identity of the victims]